My Complicated Life


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Ever since I was a teen, I have been tired a lot but never knew why and never really told anyone. When I started driving, I would roll the windows down or turn the radio up loud just for noise to stay awake, especially in the winter time. The cold air really helped in keeping me awake.

When I was a teen, I was diagnosed with TMJ because my jaw always hurt. TMJ is a condition when your jaw dislocates when you talk or eat, basically every time when I open my mouth. I was also told I had bad allergies. In 2005, I got pregnant with my first child. I was so happy and thought things would go so smoothly but was wrong. I ended up with high blood pressure and was borderline gestational diabetes. I swelled so bad they ended up having to induce me.

After trying to have her and me getting a fever and her heart rate jumping up I ended up with an emergency C-Section. Little did we know she was sick and not getting breast milk for 4 days. I thought she wasn’t, but the nurses said she was. Also, I had developed postpartum depression. I got out of the hospital with her 3 days later, and then on the 4th day, we found out she was sick and wasn’t getting food.

Read more: My Children are my Medicine

Once we got things figured out she was ok, but I seemed down, and that lasted for years, and I didn’t know why. Then in 2008, I got pregnant again and was supposed to have a scheduled C-section, but my son decided to come early. The bad thing was he decided to come on the day his sister was due to have surgery at a different hospital, so my mom took my now ex-husband and daughter to one hospital, and my aunt rushed me to another.

When we got there, I could barely walk and was already dilated 6cm. They rushed me to surgery and before I knew it my son was born. They took me to recovery then to my room where I told my aunt I was tired, so she went to get breakfast. That’s the last thing I remember before I woke up to 4 doctors and 6 nurses standing around me. Apparently, I passed out due to blood loss from a rupture the doctor missed. Then he decided not to do a blood transfusion, so for six months, I had to take iron pills.

I still had PPD on top of having a 3-year-old and a newborn who had colic. Plus, my 3-year-old wasn’t talking, and they thought she was autistic, but we just couldn’t get her to where we needed to get her tested. Then, when my son was 1, I finally got diagnosed with depression, but my doctor told me to just deal with it and to just take time for myself for an hour a day. Not easy with two small kids.

Read more: Depression is a Part of my Life

Then, 2 months later my husband walked out on us which caused me more stress and depression since it was right after Christmas. Then a few months later I found a doctor that actually listened and treated my depression. After that, a friend introduced me to a wonderful man that went and did things with not only me but with my children also, so I realized I wasn’t depressed when I was with him.

Two years later we were married and already had one son. When I had him, the doctor knew I had almost died with my second son, so he watched me close and caught a rupture and fixed it before closing me up. I just felt bad my son came early also on the 4th of July, so the surgeon had to miss fireworks.

After he was born, I got diagnosed with asthma, depression, and high blood pressure. Then in 2014 I got pregnant again but miscarried. It was very, very hard on me. After that, my husband decided he was going to get a vasectomy because he didn’t want to see me go through that again, but 2 months later I found out I was pregnant again. It was a very high risk. Thankfully, everything went great, and in July 2015 we had our baby girl.

After she was born, I told them to tie my tubes so I wouldn’t go through a loss again though. Then in 2016, I had an ablation due to other problems. Then I got diagnosed with sleep apnea, metabolic syndrome, and Hypothyroidism. I also got diagnosed with bad migraines. So, I take a lot of medication for all this stuff. Then in May of this year, I went to my sleep doctor and told him I was still always tired. I was scoring really high, so he said he thought I had narcolepsy and wanted me to do another night sleep study and a day one. He set it up for me. It just so happened I went to the doctor right before this, and they said no I don’t think you have narcolepsy, it’s probably just your meds, and you have 4 kids you need more sleep and no way you have cataplexy – it’s just your nerves.

Well, went to my sleep study and sure enough, I have narcolepsy/cataplexy. They put me on some medications, and they actually made my depression so bad I wanted to kill myself. I usually don’t like talking about this kind of stuff. I am very quiet and really don’t talk about stuff at all, but if I can help someone else, I want to. If you have any problems, please get help. If you’re on medications and don’t feel right, let your doctor know. I went 2 months on my pills not feeling like myself. I should have told someone sooner but didn’t. Never wait as long as I did.

Did your diagnosis affect your emotional and mental health? How? Share to Show your Support!