How Many Laparoscopies Have You Had? How painful was it?
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At 26, I had a hysterectomy. That was 10 years ago (I am now 36 years old). Here I am though, stronger than I was in the past, still battling this disease. Endometriosis has caused me issues ever since puberty, but back then I had no idea what it was until my mid-20’s. Recently, I just had my 9th laparoscopy (or so I think, it’s easy to lose count after a while). It doesn’t help that the painkillers I take give me memory loss issues, so I am going to stick with 9.
I want to share my journey as much as possible because, so many women do not know about this disease, but are suffering from it every day! It relieves when women I know get the help they deserve, especially when its surgical intervention and it helps!
Often, I get asked if it bothers me emotionally if I still get hurt. The answer is always, “NO”. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, that is how I view it. I do my best to hide my pain well, trying to keep to myself when I have a flare-up. I don’t want loved ones to know about the pain I am going through. Is this the best way to handle it? I am not sure, but it is how I choose to handle it.
I love my life despite all this pain. Currently, I am living my BEST life and refuse to submit to Endometriosis. I am currently one-month post-op and it still hurts like hell. Before, this pain would have left me feeling depressed and defeated. Now, it doesn’t hinder my spirit. “It is what it is” – it’s what I tell myself. It may be cliché, but it’s true.
I can’t change this, I can’t run away and I have to come to terms that, as of right now, there is no cure. I have to focus on the things I love, such as my job, my life and myself. Those things truly matter that is my sunshine on a gloomy day. We go through the bitterness, the fear, the depression, but we get through it all. I do have my friends and family I can go to, but I mostly get through this on my own and that is my choice.
After having this disease for over 20 years, I am currently the healthiest I have ever been, except for that little thing called Endometriosis. I am 3 years from 40 and, for the first time, not on any daily prescriptions. I am a State Champion competitor in Karate, I ran my first half-marathon last year (2 weeks before my surgery). Life. Is. Great.
If nothing else, I want women to know that Endometriosis doesn’t have to define you. I accept it, it is a part of me, but I am proud to live with it because I know I can conquer life with this disease. I can still kick ass while in pain and YOU CAN TOO! Mind over matter. We’re all in this together.
Be better than Endometriosis.