What positive changes have Migraines brought to your life? Share to show your Support!
Never in my life was I ever dependent on pain medication to make things better. I always tried my best to soldier on through it with a smile on my face. However; that all changed in July 2017 right around my birthday and lasted for twelve days before I finally had enough.
I would wake up every morning the same way I went to bed the night before: a dreaded migraine. But every day I woke up, took Excedrin and took it with me to work because missing work for me for my health is not an option. I don’t want to use it as an excuse as to why I am not able to do my job. I know they would understand but I let my own insecurities, fears, and doubts get in the way of that. So after twelve days of a migraine that would never end, I went to urgent care where they offered me medication to help since Excedrin was no longer working. I left hoping it would be part of the answer that I needed to get my feet back on the ground instead of just a body barely getting through the day.
BOY, WAS I WRONG.
I remember the first day that I took it and I was fine. However; I still continued to get migraines and I reluctantly began taking it as it was supposed to get rid of a migraine.
What it did, however, is something I just don’t want to experience again. Never in my life have I experienced such sad and depressive thoughts. I felt nothing at all and everything at the same time. I would be surrounded by happy people but felt like I was in a snow globe with the world moving around me.
The things that usually bring me joy like baseball games and music in the park brought me no joy at all. It was like I was literally stuck in the biggest rut of my life. Then there were other moments where I would get sad out of nowhere but yet no tears would fall. I felt so isolated from myself and from those who love me the most. I just could not bear to see myself in the state I was in.
So I began doing the only thing I know to do when life gets hazy and that is to write. The writing that was coming forth was a bit hard to reread as it was perhaps the rawest way in which I have ever written. It was like seeing a person in pain being bled onto paper. I let very few read it and a concerned look appeared all over their face.
They asked if I was okay and I just did not know if I was truly okay. My usual sweet and positive disposition seemed to get lost under the surface as I tried so hard to find a means to escape. When my state of mind continued on in this state I knew that I had to reach out.
Read more: I Found a Way to Deal with the Migraine
So I made an appointment with my doctor and she immediately notices my down mood and seemed concerned. She immediately changed my prescription to a migraine preventive. A few weeks later and I had a follow-up where she even noticed my improvement. I finally began to feel like me again; well as me as I could possibly feel. As migraines are not the only issue I struggle with.
My writing too took a turn to where it is still open and honest but not as dark and twisted. In the time in between, I became a part of something that is about to kick off soon. It is a place where I have the opportunity to share my writing alongside one of my best friends and her family. I guess perhaps that was one of the silver linings in all of this. But the bigger one was my experience with my migraines has turned me to such an advocate for my life.
I guess at the end of the day pain even though hard at the time has a way to bring you strength in ways that you never imagined.
Stay strong my friends and know through it all there is a reason for the season. It is always there just under the surface!