Loss of My Security Blanket

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I grew up with my uncle. He raised me and my sister. Prior to moving in with him, I suffered through severe physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of my father. My uncle raised me from the age of 7 all the way to adulthood. He was a wonderful man and showed me what true love is.

When we moved in, he hated kids but later fell in love with us and knew we needed a stable home with love as the top priority. He worked long hours doing manual labor as an electrician to make sure he could provide us with everything we needed. He was going to walk me down the aisle in my wedding but sadly, he passed away 6 months before my wedding.

I am traumatized still to this day, 10 years later. He was my security blanket, always making me feel safe. I now suffer from treatment-resistant panic disorder along with severe depression. Every day is a struggle. I’m married to a wonderful man but he doesn’t fill my uncle’s shoes. I’ve been on tons of medication for my depression and anxiety and I’ve been in therapy for the entire time.

Last year I spent 3 months in a psychiatric hospital because I was suicidal. I learned a lot there on how to do self-help which has helped quite a bit but I still struggle on a daily basis. His loss affects me every day of my life.

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