What’s the cause for your PTSD?
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I have suffered from PTSD ever since I can remember. It first started when I was a victim of a sexual assault by two people.
My mom had a friend, they were pretty close. My mom’s friend had two sons and we were supposed to be friends. We weren’t, they molested me more than a few times.
It seemed like there were bad things everywhere around me. I’ve had more than a few accidents. After my assaults, I got hit by a car. Luckily, I survived.
It is possible that my PTSD started right after the sexual assaults, but having a car accident didn’t help at all. I thought that my bad luck has come to an end. I was so wrong.
The next chapter of my life started with me getting physically assaulted. The good thing was that it wasn’t sexual molestation, but the bad thing was – I got hit in the face with a pipe wrench.
After all this time I still wonder how was it possible for me to survive all that?
The last bad thing that happened to me was that I got shot three times. Once again it turned out that I am a survivor, not just a victim.
All of the things that happened to me took their toll on my life. Now, I suffer from PTSD and I don’t know how to continue with my life without the constant fear that something bad will happen to me again.
I have recurring nightmares. There are too many nights when I wake up and still think that I am in the same room with the people that assaulted me sexually. It is pretty hard to come to my senses and realize that I am safe now.
Nevertheless, I have decided – I am going to survive and I am going to get better!
