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I was a happy, well adjusted attractive middle-aged, middle-class soccer mom who thought I’d achieved everything a woman could and should in life – I was on top of the world and proud of the life I’d worked so hard to make for myself.
I had a happy marriage of 18 years to a kind, sweet man who’s nickname when we meet was “gentle giant” and we were best friends, virtually inseparable. Two beautiful boys ages 10 and 15, a gorgeous 3 story house in the country w 5 acres where I had horses, a big home office I worked from as an Executive Manager for a great company I’d been with over a decade, 4 cars and friends and family surrounding me all the time.
Then one day my husband began to change, becoming distant, critical and controlling. I thought he was unhappy with his job or having a mid-life crisis and tried to help. Suggested counseling or individual therapy, medical consultations. The situation worsened and soon its black rages, tyrants, busting into office unannounced screaming at me in front of our kids that my lover wasn’t changing the litter box or I’d been dealing drugs they the drive-thru I operated thru the window.
Read more: Being in an Abusive Relationship
He began to hit me anytime I tried to talk or if I even looked at him or came around him in the wrong mood. He locked me out of rooms full of boxed up batteries and light bulbs, brought strange women home and locked the door…he told me to move out and I was ready but after only a few days I returned home to find the locks changed and a few essentials in the driveway.
The police wouldn’t help. I used all the cash I had to find a place to live but he took the bank accounts and the credit cards. I went into debt to set up residence in a rental nearby and a place to work but in a few days came home to find he’d turned off the power internet phone. I was fired immediately and later learned he’d called my boss and told her I was hooked on meth…which was boss big secret…it drove him to destroy my whole life over paranoid delusions he had of an affair id supposedly been carrying on for years.
My children, family, friends all believed his intricate astounding web of lies and I was jobless and without means to how legal assistance to fight him. I ended up homeless and lived on the streets nearly two years, family and friends standing by watching until finally I couldn’t take anymore and attempted suicide. I ended up in a wonderful facility and after being diagnosed with PTSD, agoraphobia, panic attack disorder and severe depression.
Read more: Living in my Own Little Hell
My mother and brother stepped in to help as they finally had seen enough of his true nature to believe me. But although I ended up with a place to live it was too late to save anything else.
The divorce was filled and final before I was aware it was happening and he got everything. Everything. My children, who have never spoken to me again and still believe his Insanity. My home. Our money. He even opened countless credit accounts in my name he maxed out to buy a home for his new wife and MY family. I’m alone, I can barely even leave the house.
Many days I can’t even leave the bedroom and if I do the noises, odors, and images everything everywhere brings back the memories of the abuse, even worse of my stolen and destroyed life I’ll never have back.