My Struggle with Postpartum Depression

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If there was one thing you could do to help people understand your Condition, what would it be? How would you describe it? Show your support by Commenting!

Postpartum depression is a serious condition and can affect men as well as women. My story starts on October 9th. It was a Monday and everything was going as planned. I was 39 weeks pregnant and had an easy pregnancy up until then. I was having trouble breathing and I asked to be induced so I wouldn’t need to rely on my inhaler throughout the delivery. I spent the night at the hospital and then my doctor came in the next day and broke my water. I was in labor for about 6-8 hours. I couldn’t handle the contractions and they administered drugs so I could sleep through them. I remember being woken up to sign papers for a C-section because my unborn daughter was also having difficulty with the contractions.

Read more: Finding a Way Out of Depression

I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT I COULDN’T WALK OR MOVE MYSELF ON MY OWN.

After having a C-section, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t walk or move on my own. It was so hard and I felt ugly. As a single mother, I began to feel like no one would want to be with me in the future because of this permanent scar. Once home, I started thinking about all the bad things that could happen to my newborn. I was so stressed out that I wouldn’t leave my house and I wasn’t producing enough breastmilk. This only made my anxiety worse. I constantly thought that I had put my daughter in harm’s way through inducing labor and now couldn’t even provide enough sustenance for her. I couldn’t carry her in her car seat for 3 weeks and felt bad for relying on my family for help. I felt that since I had put myself in this position I should be able to do it all by myself.

Read more: I am Only 20 years old and I have Depression

My doctor prescribed me anti-depressants, then ended up having to increase my dose because of the anxiety over losing my daughter in a car wreck or other accident. I downloaded several apps on my phone so I could relax while my newborn daughter napped. It slowly calmed me down to the point where I felt much better about myself and the situation I was in. I joined several C-section support groups on Facebook which made a big difference. Seeing other people’s struggles made me feel like I wasn’t the only one struggling with anxiety and self-esteem. I later got off the anti-depressants and stopped having such anxiety-producing thoughts and dreams. On some days when I’m extremely stressed, my mom will watch my daughter so I can relax, get some fresh air, and spend time with people my own age. I am happy to have found the Facebook support groups which have helped me through hard times and remind me to focus on the brighter side of life.

If there was one thing you could do to help people understand your Condition, what would it be? How would you describe it? Show your support by Commenting!