My Life With Depression


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It was Christmas home from Stillwater of ’83. I had been having meltdowns for years but it was getting hard to shake them.

I wanted to die. I went to my Dr. to get something to help me do it. She prescribed Lorazepam and I fully intended to take the whole bottle. I’d been feeling this way all my life. I know there were people praying for me.

Read more: Depressed but Fighting It

A little voice in my head said “Just try it. See how it feels.” So, I did and it made me sleep. When I finally woke up, I felt better.

Following Dr.’s orders, things changed. They got better. I continued therapy for 3 years. By then I had a male doctor and he pissed me off one too many times. I told him to go to hell and walked out. I’m still on Lorazepam and Amitriptyline and was doing OK until this last few months.

Read more: My Shape Shifting Depression

My dad died on New Year’s Eve and I can’t shake my sorrow. My sister got power of attorney and has cut off all financial help. She’s also in the process of kicking me out of my parent’s rent house because I can’t pay rent. I’m on disability since a car wreck in ’97 and working a regular job is not an option. So, here I am looking for help once again to get my life back in order. I need help.

What is your way of helping yourself when you’re down? Share to show your Support!