It started when I was only 12 years old. I began to experience severe uterus and stomach pain and at my age, I had no idea what that meant. My periods became so bad that I would end up passing out for hours. For 3 out of the 4 weeks in a month, I would be in intense and unforgiving pain. My parents would take me to doctor after doctor and never got a solid answer as to what was wrong until I was about 16 years old.
At that age, I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis and I was put into menopause. At the time, I weighed 150 lbs and during the 8 months I was on the Depo Pavara shot I ended up weighing 485 lbs. No matter what I did, I could not lose the weight. I tried all types of weight loss diets and tricks, but with the weight gain being medicine induced it was close to impossible. I resorted to different birth control methods to stop my period. I had surgery twice to burn out my endometriosis only to have it return twice as painful as it was before.
The weight-loss journey took over 7 years to get me back to 200 lbs. I had to lose the weight as I could no longer be intimate with my husband due to the weight and the excruciating pain from Endometriosis. Even to this day, it is difficult to have intercourse. Spontaneity has gone out the window.
Still, I end up getting severe cramping where I have to use a heating pad and pain management medication to simply get by the day. Finally, I got the Mirena IUD. All these different medications and shots have left my hormones off balance and it is next to impossible to get them under control. I am not able to go out with family for social events because of all the pain. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin because of my weight.
Even to this day, I have been told countless times for over 10 years I will never be able to have children. 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. No doctor is willing to give me a hysterectomy because I don’t have children and because of my age. I’ve been told I will just have to endure the pain. My dream is to just live a normal life, nothing extravagant or outside the norm. Just to have a simple date night with my husband and not feel embarrassed to carry around a heating pad.
Endometriosis is extremely painful and it will end up consuming your whole life. The pain will hit you suddenly and without remorse, lasting for weeks to months at a time. It is hard during the holidays because I would love to enjoy food, but I am afraid that I will gain all the weight back that took so long to lose. It’s hard because people don’t want to buy your clothing because they don’t want you feeling bad when it doesn’t fit. It’s difficult to go to a store and find something you love, but it isn’t in a big enough size.
Endometriosis is truly a disability that affects countless women that don’t provide a solution/treatment outside of a hysterectomy when you a hit a certain age. I don’t want people to keep staring and judging. I simply want people to be compassionate and understand.