Who gives you the motivation to keep Fighting? Show your support by Commenting!
You know we all have those moments dealing with psoriasis where the pain is so intense. The hurt goes so much deeper than the obvious lesions displayed on the outside. We wake up, sigh and look in the mirror hoping that by some miraculous cosmos event that its all gone!!
The heavens, The Gods, someone heard our cries and took it all away. But to no surprise really, its always still there. Even during the times, our skin is clear. We know its still there. Waiting in the shadows to show its ugly face with the first sign of stress, the first cold or flu of the season. For no reason at all, it just awakens like a monster under the bed. Its what we fear the most.
Read more: My Skin Condition Put Me Through Hell
Man, I’ve had those days a lot. The days where I brush my teeth in the dark because I don’t want to accidentally see myself in the mirror. Shower with your eyes closed so it’s not as real. And what I really want to do is climb back in my bed, pull my blankets tight around me, turn on a cheesy movie and hide from the world while I feel sorry for myself.
Luckily for me, I don’t get to feel that way often. Sometimes one of my little humans will walk into my room and see me crying. “What’s wrong mommy” as they wrap their little arms around my waists and hug me tight. And I always respond with ” I’m fine kiddo just having a moment” and with perfect timing “I love you to the moon and back mommy”. So, psoriasis can wait. Those tears can wait.
I have three little humans who depend on me. I have breakfast to make, shoes to tie, homework to help with, hugs to give and several games of rock, paper, scissors or a round or two of thumb wars to lose.
My children are my motivation. They have never thought I was ugly. Never been grossed out to touch my hand. Never embarrassed to introduce me to their friends. Psoriasis doesn’t affect them because it doesn’t define their mommy.
Read more: My Eczema Story
So yea I still have my moments where I just want to scream. I want to go to sleep and wake up and find this was all a bad dream. But what I never do is give up. I don’t get to the point where I feel hopeless. I don’t have a choice.