Hi, my name is Abagail, and I am now 33 years old. I grew up in a family of wonderful parents who love me to death and 5 brothers who love me but don’t know what to think of me and my lifestyle now. They keep trying to get me to change my life with suggestions that I think about, but would rather make bad choices in my life. Thinking they will help me usually turns out terrible because I feel like finding my true love, and Romeo to be would change my life and make me whole, with Jesus being in the center.
I’m finding out if I don’t fix my addiction that I’m dealing with right now in my life that it’s impossible to figure out where and how to actually try living a normal life without the stress and regret of what I’m doing in my life. Right now, I’m trying to get on a medication to help deal with my severely depressed state of mind. I realize I need to do what is told to me right now because no matter how hard it seems it is to comply with what tasks I need to fulfill, I need just to bite my tongue and do it till I can get the help I need from my doctor’s and psychologist.
I just need to be patient, which is hard to do with everything I have been through in life with all the bad crazy people I have met and been around. People have persuaded me to do and could care less about my feelings in the situation to make them happy. Me not having any self-esteem or really hurt me in my life badly, and I still don’t have much of it.
Read more: How I Overcame 10 Years of Opiate Addiction
My choices right now are still bad, so I know and feel if I put all my heart and trust into Jesus and do what I know is right instead of what I will do just for the moment of fun or satisfaction that I might receive. I refrain from the choices I want to make or do just because I feel like my life is boring or not fun at the time which is every day right now. Being addicted and feeling like I need to be praised for the things I do or getting the feeling I’m loved by anyone I’m talking to or around and realizing that I don’t need the approval of people, but of Jesus.
I need to do what makes me happy, not what makes other people happy. Making any choice in my life right now is hard for me and if I can get any advice from anyone here, especially a doctor or psychiatrist or psychologist would greatly help me right now.