Who has helped you in your struggle with depression? Show your Gratitude for them in the Comments!
I’ve struggled with depression my whole life and at random points in time, it gets worse than usual. This usually happens in the winter and I’m more likely to be hospitalized in the early months of the year.
One of those times, I had felt so numb and cold at the same time. I felt empty like my heart wasn’t inside my chest at all. When I experience bad bouts of depression, I tend to black out and do dangerous, questionable, and outright stupid things. When I got depressed this time, the last thing I remember thinking before I blacked out was how I had absolutely nothing to live for.
Read more: Different Types of Depression
The next thing I know, I’m looking at my bed from my closet with a scarf tied into a noose around my neck, and the pressure of my body weight falling causing the scarf to cut off my airways. My legs flailed and I caught my foot on a box, freeing myself from the makeshift noose. I remember coughing and rubbing my throat, sitting on the floor, staring at the noose in horror, confused about what had just happened.
Read more: The Love of My Family Helped Me Get Better
I was and still am scared, because:
1) At that time (and even to this day) I had not learned how to tie a noose
2) If I hadn’t heard my conscience yell at me to “wake up”, I wouldn’t be writing this story
3) If I had died, I would have never found the person who is every reason to live for.
Now that I’ve met my fiancee, I’ve been much happier and more optimistic about life. He is my hero and savior. I think that my conscience knew that I’d find him and didn’t want me to give up. I’m so happy that I listened because now I’m going to be married to an amazing man and create a wonderful life and family with him.