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I have Bipolar Disorder. My world isn’t like others. My mind doesn’t work the same. My life as a whole is a chaotic puzzle that has so many pieces which don’t fit.
My name is Mandy and I am sick.
I have a mental illness.
No, I cannot just be happy.
No, I cannot just be okay.
No, I do not want your pity.
Yes, I am a warrior.
Yes, I battle every day.
Yes, I want your compassion and understanding or at least your attempt to understand me.
Read more: Bipolar Disorder and Young Motherhood
Every single day of my life I will go to the forefront of the battlefield and fight. I will not throw in my white flag because, for me, there will always be a part of me that cannot give into the darkness.
My sadness and my pain are my constant enemies. I have crawled through the trenches many times, and I have scars to show from my battles.
I AM NOT WEAK.
I AM STRONGER THAN MOST WILL EVER KNOW!
It took me a long time to try and understand who or what I am. To understand the concept that I am sick. That I have Bipolar Disorder, an ILLNESS. A SERIOUS ILLNESS that I must fight for every single day of my life.
There have been times that i thought i was cured.
I have had the spear jammed into my heart when my defenses were down. I have tasted my blood and my tears have made rivers that tried to drown me. I have been under into a depth where light could not be found. I have laid on the ground screaming and unable to move. I have found that it’s my spirituality which arms me as I am not religious.
Read more: 23 Years of Darkness with Bipolar Disorder
I have been lifted at times out of those depths to a point where I have felt the light on my face just to feel again that I was drowning in desperation, grasping for what little will I had left.
Through it all, I am a warrior. Make no mistake about that.