Created – “Alice in wonderland” world for survivors and then laugh at them for being crazy… When in fact, we drive them there.
We know from science that a person that has been victimized has the same mental and physical issues that war veterans can have.
We know that mental and physical illness from torturous events can cause damage and many failures in humans. Damage to the brain, reasonable mind stuck, cognitive functioning impaired, or even stopped. Sensory systems malfunction. They may lose their will to live, to find joy, to continue at life at all. They are ill with injuries and this was caused to them.
We fail both…. Survivors and Vets!
Does anyone care to actually try and figure out why we fail them? Well, the past and current model has been designed to believe we fail them because they fail themselves. Isn’t that convenient. We know all things for humans takes a tribe, but in these cases it’s just the individual failing. The whole system and money we pump into it can’t be the problem. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Can you imagine having such a failing process and belief that it’s the individuals fault and not how and what we do or do not do to them?
Seems the answer is no, the system just wants to stay the same. Proven by, it’s been a forever issue and no one has changed or adapted anything new and wants to blame the broken and hurt individuals for the failures.
I know this is true, I’ve seen the same handling of our broken and injured survivors over and over again! Was even treated with complete disregard of my basic human rights and self respect from multiple judges in multiple court houses, by multiple police and hospitals. They allow or create an abusive system and then blame the hurt for their reactions to the insanity.
For example, we fund a domestic violence witness office but they do nothing. They literally do nothing. Why are they there? Their only assist to an injured person is to file the paperwork.
I took a job at a domestic violence shelter because I want to help heal the broken. I quickly left because that’s not what they do. I’ve analyzed and explored case after case of survivors where the answer to why they were denied justice or help was because they (the broken and hurt) did not do something….
So, we believe that a broken and injured person should be able to do what a none broken or injured person can do? If the injuries were to a person’s leg you wouldn’t say they should be able to walk… Why, when it’s to their mind do we expect that they can think?
Our systems and departments believe and train their staffs to handle these broken, hurt people like animals. Courts, police, shelters, and even hospitals. They place guilt on a person acting with a normal human reaction while the cause of the hurt remains calm and in control over themselves.
Victims: You are not allowed to help them with functioning, reasoning, problem-solving. They need to ask for what they need. They need to find their own solution. They need to become aware on their own.
It made me sick. It triggered my own PTSD that I had to stop working there.
Victims may have never ever been raised to have strengths in the areas that ensure a “good” life as it is!
To refuse and deny to teach, coach, support a person with information, knowledge, direction, basic humanity! Is to continue to victimize them! You are not treating them like an injured person whom you are helping!
Then…. we blame and shame them more by making healing and getting safe just like their abusers, a game!
This is how we treat survivors:
I have all the answers. I have all that you need. I know what you should know. I know how you should do it. I know why you don’t know. I see what’s happening that will cause you new problems…. I’m going to let you die and then claim it was your own choice for not knowing….
Impairments to a person after being victimized is not a choice. Their unknown or unrealized answers are not desired. Their right to be treated humanely is given but denied in these games played on them and at their expense. Literally, taxpayers fund these programs that continue the abuse cycle on these survivors.
We treat the broken like unloved dogs, place them in a cage and wait for them to become so hurt that they are angry, and then use their justifiable anger at being unable to function to claim they are now the reason for the abuse they endured.
Staking claims to untrue thoughts that; it takes two to have conflict, you must benefit from staying, you always can figure it out, you always had a choice, you always had solutions, you could have, you should have….
Yet, we gave them no love, respect, or honor during the process. We hold all the answers and deny them to them…. We allow their illness to run them sick! We allow their injuries to persist! We make their injuries worse! Many don’t survive. Many go back to an abuser because at least there they know what will happen and what to expect!
We create an “Alice in wonderland” world for survivors and then laugh at them for being crazy.
We make them crazy! We cause the crazy! We designed the crazy making!
We are dysfunctional and our systems keep abusing survivors by design!
Shelby Holcomb
12/2020
