ADHD Turned Me into a Monster

1817
adhd

How do you manage your ADHD? Show your support by Commenting!

Every article about the negative things that can happen to an individual, a woman, with undiagnosed ADHD is me. I could handle it until I couldn’t. Until everything started unraveling before me while I tried to solve myself by self-medicating. I’m educated, after all… I can fix myself! Alcohol? Yep. Drugs? Been there, done that. However, low self-esteem, low self-worth, and utter exhaustion as I was constantly on the go but accomplishing nothing had hooked its gnarly claws into me. Working. Raising a family. Drowning. My anxiety and depression turning me into a monster. The alcohol would quiet and sooth the inner turmoil. Up to the point I got my DUI, along with its host of financial and legal ruin. Of nearly losing everything that is important to me, namely my kiddos. I was at the lowest I will ever be, and I knew I had to get the help I needed… I deserved.

Read more: I was Diagnosed with ADHD

Easier said than done. Trying to convince my doctor’s, who know nothing about ADHD, that I, with my doctorate and thriving small town practice, was suffering from its ill effects was a 3-year battle. I remained during that time, and am still to this day, sober. I’m too stubborn to give up. I had to do this for me, and for my kiddos. Because I could see ADD/ADHD In each of them, and I’ll be a monkey’s Uncle if I was going to let them bumble down the path into adulthood that I had taken. Three years of being put on antidepressants, and bipolar meds. Three long, excruciating years, and moving to a city, I finally saw a health professional who took me seriously.

Read more: How I Cope with ADHD

Finding the right medication at the right dosage was like finally being able to burst up through a frozen lake that I had been trapped in for far too long. My world went from gray and overwhelmingly hectic to bright, calm and relaxed. Peaceful. I am finally above water. I am finally able to complete the mundane tasks of daily life with ease. I am the mother I want to be. I am the wife I want to be… I am the person I am meant to be.

 

How do you manage your ADHD? Show your support by Commenting!