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My addiction took me somewhere I thought I would never be. When I was a kid my mom was an alcoholic and she smoked weed. That was not a problem for me because I didn’t want alcohol nor weed. When I was 17 years old, I had my gallbladder removed. Everyone wanted to buy them and even my mom would ask me for one or two. Of course, I gave them to her, not knowing about addiction at the time. Once my script was gone I didn’t need them so that was good.
The guy I was dating at the time had been taking pain pills throughout our whole two years together and I never knew he was addicted and buying them. Well, one day I woke up with bad cramps from my period and he gave me 1 Percocet 10 mg and when that pill kicked in it hit me like “oh my god” bammmm. I was up cleaning and in a really good and hyper mood. I freaking loved the feeling that one pill gave me, so that night I told him to buy me some. We went and got like ten. He gave me five and took five for himself.
Read more: Addicted: Fatal Attraction
The next day I went to my sister who also took pills. She asked me if I wanted to split one with her and I said “hell yes” I loved the feeling that they gave me. The only thing was that my sister didn’t take them orally. She crushed them and snorted them. She crushed the whole pill before I knew it. I told her after she handed me the straw that I didn’t know how to snort it because I haven’t ever snorted anything in my life. I didn’t know I could. She told me how to do it and the effect from snorting it was a million times better than taking it orally.
Later on, when I was at home with my boyfriend I told him about what I have done and he said he’s been doing that too, just didn’t want me to get mad. So, here I am eleven years later and I just got off of pain pills about two months ago. Pills have cost me so much. I’m married now to a very good man with whom I have been for seven years and been married to for almost four years. I say pills have cost me so much and don’t mean money. I am referring to the emotional side of it.
My husband was working very hard every single day to make sure I had at least 8 pills a day. Yes, you heard that right – eight to ten or more, depending on what I had. My husband has told me he can’t do it anymore because we are so far in debt from borrowing money from people to get pills. We couldn’t pay it back because when he gets his check, around 50 dollars go on pills. I know that you may say that I’m going from one drug to another, but the thing is I know that once I’m done craving the pills then I’ll be strong enough to resist. I’m just ready to be me again and I know that I’m strong enough to do it. It is going to be a battle that I’m going to win.