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Where to start? I grew up in a family with good funds and resources but it wasn’t a healthy childhood. I didn’t follow in my biological father’s or birth certificate father’s footsteps of drug and alcohol abuse or promiscuity. Since I went through so much, it scared me into not doing those kinds of things.
Read more: Abuse: My Past, Future, and Happiness
As a result, I love not just physical scars but emotional and mental; scars that haunt me and won’t let me go. I have anxiety, phobias, PTSD, major depression and I am a survivor of domestic abuse. I look at my physical scars and how I lost all my teeth to sepsis from seizure medication and high-risk pregnancies. I have no way to get proper comfortable fitting dentures so that I can eat properly, smile and be able to leave my home.
I’m afraid to even leave my home because people are not so compassionate nowadays. It becomes exhausting to have people ask how long I’ve been clean when I don’t even drink or do drugs because of my compromised immune system, seizures, heart and my lymphatic disorder/disease and other complications. All of my conditions and health complications imprison me, inducing crippling anxiety to the point of bathroom accidents, throwing up and cold sweats.
Read more: I have Anxiety Because of My Stepdad
I don’t actually have any friends and my Bubbe, Emme, and twin have all passed. I’m not in contact with my father and dad because they are abusive yet functioning addicts. If reading this helps even just one person, it would bless my heart profusely. I don’t really know what else to put but anybody is more than welcome to comment or ask me anything. I’ll be writing more but sometimes it’s hard for me to say or have the right words because of my state but I hope and pray that this helps as many people as possible.