How did you deal with your regret after Abortion? Share with us your story in the Comments!
The day of my abortion was in 2004. I was around 23 years old. It was in Phoenix, USA. According to my understanding, there are only a few states that will allow this type of thing. I already had 4 children, not married, no job, and suffering from real-world struggles. When people asked me how many kids I had, I say four. Their reaction was always a surprising one. “What? four kids?! They say.
By time I stopped meeting new people and saying personal information that I knew that they would critically respond to. Like I was saying at the beginning of my story, I met a guy one-night stand and got pregnant. I was in my 2nd month. I told the guy and explained to him that my father would cut off all the help that he does for me and my kids. He agreed to help and pay a few hundred for abortion.
Read more: Pregnant at 16 – My Story
I set up the appointment and attended it as scheduled on 1/20/2004. I was so nervous before I got dropped off from a friend of mine, she is like a sister. She was more supportive than any man I’ve ever known.
Well, I went to the facility and the nurse there checked me in and gave me a pill to calm me down. I was so scared. I even thought of walking out the door, but the pill effect started in minutes. Everything was so odd in that facility, the patients that were waiting, I wondered “Are they here for this too?”
Read more: Abortion: Why Me?
The office was weird. I remember it being dimmed lighting, it looked like depressing environment to my memory. Well, the nurse told me to come to the back. I walked slowly with him, “Take your pants off and lay on the bed” He said, so I did. The doctor came in. There was a curtain hanging up preventing me from seeing half of my body. The nurse said: “you’re nervous, you can hold my hand”. I did, my hands were sweating.
Read more: My Heart Weeps for my Unborn Child
I turned my head, closed my eyes tight while I squeezed the nurse hand hard because I was so afraid. I heard the weirdest thing. You know when you vacuum up something, how it makes a grinding noise as it sucks through the hose. It was my baby. Oh my God, it was only a five-minute procedure. It was all gone and done.
I was so messed up from that calming pill. All I remember is standing outside the parent hoods facility waiting for my ride to go home. No one in my family knew where I had gone that day but if anyone asks me if I live with any regrets, I would say “Yes, I am ashamed of the fact that I have ever done this”.