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I have been through a number of abuses of every kind from the time I was three years old. It started with the touching for my uncle, my step brother made me give oral at the age of five and my step dad made me do the same thing at 10. When I was eleven years old, I was placed in State’s custody for reporting that. Once I was out of there at the age of 18, my life with adult men went bad from my first. The father of my two children physically, emotionally and verbally abused me for seven years and I got out of that.
Read more: Me, struggling with PTSD
After that, I got into a relationship where the same thing started happening all over again. And then I went into a relationship and had two children with this man who’s a drug addict. He abused me in every way, but mostly physically. Got out of that relationship and decided that I wasn’t going to let anybody treat me the way I’ve been treated. I got interrelationship what the old boyfriend from high school, thought it would be the best thing. I came from work one day and found out he abused my two youngest children. I made the arrangements to get home to Kansas by calling my mother and an old boss to get the money to come home again.
I got into another relationship that was my best friend. I could talk to him about anything and everything so I thought it would be a great one. We started having issues and I have noticed that my mental health was not in the best set of mind so I had my mother take me to Comcare and find out what was going on. I found out I had complex PTSD anxiety disorder. That evening, before he knew my diagnosis he broke up with me. I got into this process and stayed with my mom to get myself better and concentrate on my children. I was there in the home that I was abused in as a child, so I had insomnia because of all the triggers.
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I met a man about a year-and-a-half later, and I can say to this day after 2 years of being with him that he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has never abused me in any way. I am currently not taking my medications because I am extremely happy and I don’t like the side effects. He says that we will get engaged and married in 2020. It took a lot of abuse and bad choices in my life that I feel like it’s my fault that I put myself in those situations and I could have changed it, but I love my life now and this is what matters.