I suffer from Complex PTSD and Severe Anxiety. I am 25, and life has only gotten harder after my diagnosis at 13. I was raped 365 days a year for 11 years. Sounds impossible, but it’s not. As a child growing up, I didn’t know nor understand I was being neglected by my parents, and they couldn’t have been worse humans.
Read more: How My Childhood Got Me PTSD
My stepdad and step-grandfather created my trauma. My surroundings and living situations didn’t help force the trauma. Getting older become a more difficult challenge as my own problems grow to severe anxiety attacks and in reaction to my PTSD, I flip into a complete rampage with a high urge to “leave.” I’m getting the help – I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I take antidepressants daily for relief. There’s been discussion to raise meds because of my increase in the inability to respond or function as what we’d call normal.
Read more: Reoccurring Trauma Caused Me PTSD
My emotions get taken over by small triggers, like a fly, for example. It takes me back to the flies outside my house when I was a child where the trauma took place. Or if I’m stressed about anything, I cry uncontrollably and shut out. I’m constantly on edge. I feel like my whole life has been a big story of mess. It’s astonishing to people that I seem to be OK on most days since I’ve been through so much. I just reply I’m just surprised I’m alive. I could go further into detail but just leaving an introduction to see how this vent goes. Like my fingers say literally “keep it moving.” Until next time. Thanks for reading.